Friday, January 2, 2009

the world spins madly on

There's a song called World Spins Madly On by the Weepies that has really made me think. I've really struggled the past couple of days to find the motivation to do things that really need to be done. There's so much stuff I'm responsible for these next few months that only I can do, and for some reason I can't seem to convince myself that the stuff actually matters.

There's a line in the song that says, "I watch the stars from my window seal, the whole world is moving, but I'm standing still." The whole point of the song is that regardless of what happens, the world is still moving forward. The reality of that really kind of shocks me. I mean I can try so hard to do so many things, but at the end of the day the world is going to go on regardless of how successful or unsuccessful I've been. How many 17 year olds have there been throughout history who have had the same desire I have to make a difference, but simply lost passion and as a result we've never heard of them or their story. Yet the world is still functioning today despite the fact that a potential world-changer never took his chance or contributed to society in any way.

The whole world is looking for contributors. Even the Christian world. I got an email just a couple of days ago that has potential to be a huge connection for me down the road. While I was so excited when I first read it, now I'm a little skeptical at the whole system we live in. There's this new Christian networking movement that is sweeping across the nation with the idea that if you can make the right connections you can put yourself in a better position to do ministry later on in life or something. Honestly the fact that I blog is probably because of that idea, but why is it even worth it? If the church in America, me included, really wanted to make a difference "for the Kingdom", wouldn't we just work harder to invest in the community we're in, rather than blogging and trying to know the right people?

These are all thoughts and not necessarily what I believe at all, but right now I feel like the bottom line is that the world needs an X number of people to make the world function, and the rest of us are just filling gaps in society or something. Whether we try and make an impact on the world is irrelevant, because ultimately the world is just going to move on without us. I guess the only thing we can hope for is Jesus being who he says he is, because otherwise we're wasting our time. The world doesn't care about individuals, the world cares about contributors.

7 comments:

  1. Hey man,
    I love following your blog and so appreciate you keeping it real. I just downloaded that album yesterday. Powerful song for sure. I know exactly how you feel. I've often found myself so disgusted with celebrity Christianity(it is just what we've done) but I think most of my disgust really flows from my idolizing of fame and deep down inside just disgusted that I can't have it. Somewhere in the midst of that God continues to sanctify my heart and give me pure passions to make Him famous. I have felt that weird pressure though. I actually felt it in a weird way in seminary, much more than I thought, with the whole political scene there. All about which prof you can get in good with and how influential they are...etc...I don't think I had many conversations with guys actually saying that...but that is what made it all so eerie is that so many were gunning for it. I am a natural networker or so our buddy DD tells me. Then I majored in PR in college and networking was pounded into our brains. Here is the beautiful thing for men and women called of God that want to change the world...we know the One and are known by the One who can get our name to anyone, anywhere, however He chooses...he can get our foot in the door for His purposes anytime, anywhere He chooses. The first time I ever flew anywhere to preach was with Michael Higdon at his recommendation because the other guy backed out last minute. A)I couldn't have gotten the speaking gig in the first place on my own...B)dozen's of other opportunities flowed out of that one event...that in a million years I could not have generated on my own. You want to know what I have found funny...DD calls me the great networker and all, but my wife is actually the one who had the connection in NYC which is where we are @ today. So I could have been networked with virtually no one, and married Susan and still wound up here. It is so refreshing to me that God works things out like this to demonstrate His glorious providence...not my networking ability (though that is a gift from Him to His praise anyways isn't it). I didn't really mean to share all this...but its just kind of flowed. I totally have felt what you feel and just wanted to encourage my brother in Christ today and say...the Lord knows your name...rest in that. Let your ambition continue to develop, but rest that it is all in His hands. The moment we frantically look around with a competitive spirit @ what the next guy is doing, is the same moment we take our eyes off the author of our faith.

    Another discussion for another day, is what we value in ministry and why.

    I have no doubt your passion to change the world are more pure as a 17 year old than mine were as a 27 year old. In my humble opinion, you have already begun to change the world.

    Joshua 1

    your friend,
    Freddy T.

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  2. Great post! Continue to wrestle with these things. There is a scary narcissism that resides among too many Christian leaders. (including myself at times) Oswald Sanders eloquently discusses these matters in his book, Spiritual Leadership. Check out the first chapter titled, An Honorable Ambition. I'd encourage you to check it out sometime. I'm still learning, but it has helped me considerably.

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  3. Thanks for writing. It really does mean a lot.

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  4. It's so easy to be caught up in the system... isn't it.
    I find that the challenge... how can I step back enough to evaluate if I'm keeping it real or just following the way that everyone's doing it.

    I wish I really knew the answer to that.

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  5. hey, no problem for introducing you to this song.

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  6. hey, no problem for introducing you to this song.

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  7. Nate, I enjoy your thoughts. It's great (and please don't read this as a condescending comment) to read thoughts about ministry and life from a 17 year old that show wisdom beyond your age. I agree with your thoughts on using the blog world to further your chances at a bigger ministry opportunity. I think the networking that is really valued by myself through blogs is the shared experiences and the gaining of wisdom through others victories, failures and bold attempts at following God faithfully.

    Keep writing and never get discouraged by the sub-culture of christianity. Remain faithful to the calling that He has on your life and let all the other details be worked out by Him.

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